


Drowning

by cupsofstardust



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 02:35:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20686085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupsofstardust/pseuds/cupsofstardust
Summary: He wishes it were raining, so the weather would match his mood.





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Still not feeling well. Enjoy. <3

It's Wednesday. 

It's Wednesday, and Sasuke works late on Wednesdays. 

Normally, he'd be missing him right about now, but the hollow ache in his heart and in his chest leaves no room for anything else. 

He's choking on nothing, his eyes stinging as he holds out, holds back, _still, for no reason,_ because Sasuke isn't home yet and he has _time_ to rebuild the dam after it bursts. 

He can tug on the loose thread and watch everything come crumbling down.

Sasuke works late on Wednesdays, so Naruto can let himself unravel.

His lip wobbles, his pathetic muffled sniffles filling his ears alongside the dull ringing that comes with complete, suffocating silence. He squeezes the pillow tighter to his chest, burying his face in it until it's a struggle to draw breath but he doesn't pull away because it feels better like this, when he can barely breathe, when the outside matches the inside.

The first hot tears darken the pillowcase. 

He learned long ago that if he was going to cry, he'd do it quietly, because drawing attention to himself when he's drowning only makes him sink faster. 

But now, as he chokes out broken sobs against his pillow, the dull ache in his chest morphs into a painful longing for the only person who can even remotely understand him.

He wishes it were raining. 

He fists his hands in his pillow and gasps for breath. After the first round of gut-wrenching sobs subsides, he lifts his face and looks to the window, not even bothering to wipe his tears away. It's uncomfortable, and cold, but he doesn't care enough.

He stares with unseeing eyes at the clear sky, the cars driving by on the street below, all unaware of his existence. None of them care, because none of them know him.

That's not why he's upset, but his lip wobbles again and he sucks in a harsh breath.

He wishes it were raining, so the weather would match his mood.

He wishes his mom were here.

He wishes Sasuke were here.

The thought has fresh tears gathering in his eyes. His stomach twists into tight knots as he curls himself tighter, pressing his face into his pillow once more and breathing out heavily. The pillow warms against him and he closes his eyes. He'd almost relish the heat if the pillow weren't soaked through.

He's glad Sasuke works late, he is, because he hates having Sasuke see him like this. 

But he thinks he's a little strange, because he doesn't want Sasuke to see him dissolve, but right now, all he wants is for Sasuke to hold him. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, which only makes more tears slip out, and he heaves another sigh. No matter what he does, he can't seem to relieve the pressure in his chest.

He's gearing up for round two when he hears the bolt turn on the front door and he freezes.

He was supposed to work late.

He stares at the back of the bedroom door with wide eyes, tears streaking down his face, and he knows he can't hide it but damn if he won't try. He wipes furiously at his eyes, knowing they're bloodshot and red-rimmed and knowing that his nose is stuffed and the pillow is tearstained but _maybe he can just pass it off as exhaustion, if he tries—_

"Naruto?" Sasuke's voice calls out from the living room.

He can't answer, he _can't,_ Sasuke will know from the sound of his voice that he's been crying but if he doesn't say _anything_ then Sasuke will worry more and he _hates_ making Sasuke worry.

"Yeah?" he calls back hesitantly, grateful that his voice doesn't shake or break or quiver.

As Sasuke's footsteps approach the bedroom Naruto's heart beats wildly in his chest, and he buries his face in his hands because he can't look at Sasuke when the door opens.

Light from the living room spills onto the floor, the bed, the pillow in his arms.

Naruto doesn't look up. 

Sasuke doesn't say anything.

He closes the door behind him, sheltering them, hiding them both in near absolute darkness, and pads over to the bed. 

Naruto feels it dip beside him.

He feels Sasuke's warm arm press against his.

He feels Sasuke's soft breaths, the rise and fall of his chest. 

He doesn't ask what's wrong, and it's good that he doesn't, because not even Naruto knows. 

What he does do, though, is wrap his arm around Naruto, run his fingers gently through his hair, and just _be there._

He leans against Sasuke's sturdy frame, focusing on the sound of his breathing, his heart, the smell of his hair, his skin, the soft fabric of his shirt and the feeling of his slim fingers threading through his hair.

Sasuke's breath changes a little and Naruto braces himself for whatever question he's going to ask, whatever question he's going to have to scramble to answer, but Sasuke surprises him.

"Next time," he murmurs, lips pressed to Naruto's temple, "call me."

And though he desperately wants to argue with that, Sasuke's fingers tighten in his hair for a moment and he knows it's not a request, a plea. It's an instruction.

After a moment, he nods in understanding, and Sasuke lets out a sigh of relief.

He sniffs, wiping at his nose and face, and hugs the pillow closer to him, rocking into Sasuke's side. His eyes hurt, his nose hurts. He feels drained, and he knows Sasuke knows it by the way he shifts. 

"Why don't you take a nap?" he says softly, turning to look at him with dark, gentle eyes.

He hums lowly, too tired to muster up a proper response, and nods.

"Do you want me to stay?" 

This time, he manages a quiet, "Please."

He can see the heartbreak on Sasuke's face. "Okay. I'll stay."

Naruto turns over, lays down facing the wall, and Sasuke lays behind him, arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him close. His breath tickles the hair behind Naruto's ear.

He feels okay.

With Sasuke holding him together, he feels okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are nice. Thank you. <3


End file.
